I write what I write

CHPercolator scribbling - 2 september 2001

Solitude

by Anita Dapperens

Pairing: none in this part (the story was to be Angel/Wesley, Giles/Xander)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Giles, Xander, Wesley, Angel and all other things Angelic/Buffy the Vampire Slayer
are owned by Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy and WB.
I'm not making any profit, I just borrowed them to have some fun.
Author's note: This is a scene from an unfinished Buffy/Angel story (17,000 words to date), set in the summer between season 5 and 6 from Buffy and season 2 and 3 from Angel. It was going to be a Angel/Wesley and Giles/Xander mystery/romance story. Alas somewhere along the way I lost track of it because RL didn't leave me time to write on it. It is unsure whether I'll ever finish it, and I don't have the heart to put it up for adoption (I can't just give my 'baby' away). Nothing of this story has been published, apart from this scene and Is this all there is?
Summary: An awkward meeting between Wesley and Xander.
Feedback: cayendi@cayendi.nl

 

Thanks to the map Rupert sent him, Wesley arrives at the Magic Box without much trouble. He parks his bike right outside it. A little wobbly he steps off, his joints more than a little stiff from spending over two hours in the same position. He really should take long drives like this more often. After putting his helmet away, and locking the bike, he turns around and takes in the front of the shop, nodding in appreciation. It doesn’’t look bad at all, Rupert obviously had the woodwork painted recently, and it seems to be nicely located as well. No wonder he is doing so well these days, Wesley thinks, proud of his fellow ex-watcher and countryman. When he opens the door a sudden dinging cuts through the serenity the shop seems to echo. His heart pounding, he realises it is only the doorbell, and he quietly closes the door behind him.

"Xander?" he calls out through the empty shop.

"Sorry, we’re closed!"

The answer comes from the back, and a little unsure Wesley walks towards it, picking up an object here and there, to admire and read the price tags. Xander is expecting him, isn’t he?

"Xander, it’s me. Wesley?"

There is a thump, like something got dropped, and almost immediately a head pokes through the door in the back.

"Oh, Wesley, hi. Sorry for that. I got a little depressed after reading the inventory list Giles had Tara print out for me, so I thought I’d better get rid of some tension by doing a couple of rounds in the back room," Xander says, breathing a little heavy, wiping the sweat off his forehead before he makes a waving motion with his hand, "Anyway, welcome to the Magic Box, mr. Wyndam-Pryce, your home for the next week."

Well, at least that hasn’t changed, Xander is still his goofy self. Somehow Wesley finds it reassuring, and smiles.

"Why, thank you, mr. Harris. That is very kind of you."

Xander flashes him a grin, and without waiting for an answer disappears into the back room again.

"Well, if you follow me into the back, I’ll lead you to Rupert’s stash of British beers. Cordelia already told me that you have the same beer hang-up that Giles has, so the girls and I made sure there was still enough of the stuff before you got here. Or aren’t you thirsty from your drive down?"

" I am actually, thank you."

He takes the cold can of Guinness Xander hands him, and sits down in the first chair he finds, scanning the layout of the back room.

"Impressive."

Xander shrugs, grabbing a chair for himself.

"Yeah, well, Buffy needed a place to train. I’ve made a separate space for an extra computer for Willow in the corner over there afterwards, but we couldn’’t bring ourselves to take the rest out."

"You don’t use the space yourselves then?

"Sure we do. Giles and I work out in here every now and then, and the girls practice their magic. Giles thinks it’s safer if he can keep an eye on them, specially with Willow’s power still growing. And Dawn tends to do her homework here when it gets to busy in the shop for her to concentrate. But it still feels strange being in here, without Buffy. Silly, isn’t it?"

"No it’s not. "

They drink their beer in silence. Wesley lowers his eyes. It is bizarre to sit here with one of Buffy’s best friends, and think about her. He who proved to be a failure as her Watcher, after all.

"It’s not all your fault."

His head shoots up, surprised that Xander knows what he is thinking about, even more surprised at hearing Xander making a gesture like this.

"Sure you were stuck up and British, so was Giles when we met him, but we never even gave you a chance. Giles found out that the Council knew damn well that you were not ready to have a Slayer under your guidance, let alone two. They knew you would follow their rules to the letter, meticulously was the word Giles used, and they knew that Buffy wouldn’t take that. They might not have known Faith’s situation, but Giles wouldn’t be surprised if they did. Your failure was, for a part at least, to blame on them."

Realising his mouth is still wide open, Wesley closes it. He wants to say something, to let Xander know he appreciates it, but he doesn’t know what to say, so instead he simply nods. He already knew. He started suspecting it after the trouble with Faith and the Council in LA, and a conversation he had with Rupert a couple of months before Buffy died confirmed it. It hurt. He had been deliberately set up to fail, and he felt so used and more abused than he ever had been, when he found out. On top of that, he felt completely alone, his inability to reach out and ask for help being a big part of that. And in the end it made his solitude more than he could cope with it, almost.

Shaking his head, Wesley pushes the memories away. He has been there and done that, as the Americans like to say.

 

The End

 

Buffy and Angel Fiction


• All in a day's work

PG-13 Angel/Wesley


• As far as he knows to go

PG-13 Giles/Xander


• Can't get worse

PG-15


• Solitude

G


• Is this all there is?

PG-13


• Just Passing

NC-17 Giles/Wesley




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